The week of my D&C, so many friends and family came around us and supported us. The ladies from my Moms2Moms table were so gracious and generously gave Brent and me tickets to a Casting Crowns concert and a gift certificate to dinner. Two of my friends even volunteered to babysit the boys for us! They had the night planned out for us and greatly blessed us with a little time together during the rough week.
At the concert, the bands shared the opportunity to support kids in need through World Vision. We have listened to many presentations about supporting kids during several concerts. The church I grew up in encouraged the youth to serve outside the box and commit to supporting kids through Compassion International. Our local radio station supports Mission of Mercy.
Opportunities abound with so many organizations to support. However, I have never sensed God moving us toward any of these ministries, as awesome as they are. Somewhat because I felt "we didn't have the resources" and also because I didn't want to do it, just to say we did it.
So to make this about God... and not about something we are doing...He spoke to our hearts about "adopting" a child. For the first time, we see our role in making a difference and teaching our boys about this bigger world around us. We may not have a 3rd child of our own, but we can adopt one from another part of the world! We are so excited about this opportunity.
It just so happened at the same time God was moving our hearts toward supporting a child, an organization called Makarios International was encouraging people to support the children within their ministry. This amazing ministry in the Dominican Republic was founded by a friend from college. (Check out their site & information...you'll be moved!) So I contacted her and mentioned that we are feeling God's prompting us to make something good of our loss. I hadn't explained many of the details, but we were touched when Sharla responded and assigned us a GIRL to support. Coincidence? I think not! God so perfectly plans out the smallest details. And although we aren't surprised, we are thrilled that He cares so much about us to show Himself in these ways. He allows us to be a part of His plan in the life of someone we have not yet met.
Wednesday, April 30
"Adopting" a child
Monday, April 28
More closure
Several weeks ago, we received a little more closure about the cause of our miscarriage. This has brought some healing and God is good for giving it to us. I haven't taken the time to post about it, but I have more to share...so I thought I'd explain what we heard. We originally didn't expect to receive any answers about "why" the baby didn't live. I asked the dr. during our 2nd ultrasound/2nd opinion about having testing done on the baby, after it was confirmed that the baby was not living and a D&C was necessary. She kind of discouraged us and said there was "really only one genetic disorder that could be determined from the blood testing." That seemed strange to me, b/c genetics determine so much about a human...it contains the majority of our makeup. I didn't understand her explanation, but I'm no medical professional.
A 3rd doctor from my practice performed the D&C. Dr. Sodor was much more compassionate than the other drs. and actually considered my request for testing, without shooting me down. She started to hem-haw around about it. "We won't get able to get the results back for about 4 weeks, near the time of your post-op appointment."
"We want it done," I said, as gently as possible. Funny what happens when you get a little adamant! (Not generally in my nature, unless Brent is involved. :-)
4 weeks later, I had my post-op appt. I actually forgot to ask about the results. The next day, we were checking in at the airport and received a call. The test results came in that day and they had some findings. Kind of nerve wracking, so I asked if she could call back after we were finished checking in. I was a bit anxious to hear the details.
When Dr. Sodor called back, she was so kind and explained that the baby had a chromosomal disorder called Turner Syndrome. (Read here for more about Turner Syndrome.) It's a disorder that affects only females, yet most miscarry at some point during gestation. Our baby was a girl!!! Several people had suggested that we name the baby, but we just couldn't without knowing the sex of the baby. We still have not chosen to name the baby, but feel like these results offered a little more healing.
According to statistics, our baby was spared a rough life, had she survived a live birth. God's plan is so amazing and we continue to praise Him for being in control.
Sunday, April 20
Back in action
We've been out of the blogging world for a while lately and all for great reasons. Spring is here and we are back in action!!
Thanks for all your prayers and concerns about getting home after the Skybus ordeal. Amtrak helped us out immensely. The thought of renting a car entered my mind for a short while, but I didn't realize they have one-way rentals, so I passed over the idea. Better to have someone else doing the driving, than myself...I think.
My nerves really worked me over as we waited in the Milwaukee station. I asked my SIL to pray for us when she dropped us off there. I felt like I was going to be surrounded by weirdos on the train. I called my friend who had done this before for reassurance about our safety. I also envisioned having to identify people after they committed some crime against my boys and me. So I used my camera phone and took pictures of a few people in the waiting area, just in case. Yes, I have to admit, I was the biggest freak on the train. I was giving them all something to worry about, I'm sure!
The boys did a great job riding the train. On a passenger car to Chicago, the first lurch out of the station was exciting. After that, the boys were all about their Leapster and watching videos on my iPod for the next hour. They weren't as enthralled as we expected.
Once we got off the train in Chicago to hop our train bound for Cleveland, the "adventure" began. I was really nervous about making that connection. As we left the passenger car, a man was waiting on a little transportation cart-type thing. I asked him where our train was and he said it was quite a walk. So we boarded his cart with our carry-on bags and experienced the boys' favorite part of the entire trip! This little cart whipped in and out on the narrow walkway between the trains. He was honking at people to get out of the way and making the boys laugh with every move. The driver said that most boys rarely want to get off his cart, b/c it's so much more fun than the train. Let's just say, I'm glad that he wasn't operating the train, however!
The attendants on the trains were very helpful and we were led to our assigned sleeper car. It was the size of a small walk-in closet, but the boys transformed into monkeys and found ways to move in that thing that amazed me. Suddenly they had urges to go potty about 4 times in a row, just so they could use the cool toilet and sink in our car.
Brooks is standing above the toilet and the bunk bed is to the right of his head. The "pink" sink pulled down out of the wall and then drained when you pushed it back into the wall. Funky stuff.
"When does this train leave?"This is the sleeper and the 2 chairs turned into a bed for Brooks and me.
The other passengers peeked out of their sleepers and were so friendly and accepting. I suppose we provided the entertainment for them as we waited to depart. Most of them were professionals and shared their stories about where they were bound. I felt very comfortable after meeting a couple of them.
I still had apprehensions about how the sleeping arrangements would work out. Around 10 pm we left the station. The bunk bed had been pulled down from the ceiling and the bottom bed was made. The boys settled in and fell asleep quickly. I sat and watched out the window and talked on the phone with my mom. (extra reassurance needed from her too) Finally I squeezed myself on the "bed" next to Brooks and drifted in and out of sleep. It wasn't quality sleep by any means, as I felt every move of the train. I startled awake any time there was a loud bump on the tracks. At some points, the train seemed to float back and forth and I felt like we were going to crash. This is when I wished I were in control and driving! :-)
The train rolled into Cleveland around 6 am. The attendant woke me up and I woke the boys up out of their surprisingly deep sleep. So glad they had more faith in that train ride than I did...they slept like rocks! Our gracious friend, Angie, picked us up at the station at 6:30 am. and taxied us back to Columbus.
All in all...it was a great alternative to paying $1,500 to fly home. Will I ride a sleeper car again? Most likely not. Unless it's the size of a small country and has pillow top mattresses.
Artwork Idea
Thanks for all the ideas you shared with us to minimize the pain in throwing away "artwork" of the boys! Here is one more idea that is awesome, especially for older kids that are really into keeping their own calendar. What a cool way to show off their masterpieces for the entire year!
Create a calendar with the pictures that they've made! Take a look here to see how you can make one with snap.fish. I'm sure there are other programs to make one...this is where the idea came from.
