Several weeks ago, we received a little more closure about the cause of our miscarriage. This has brought some healing and God is good for giving it to us. I haven't taken the time to post about it, but I have more to share...so I thought I'd explain what we heard. We originally didn't expect to receive any answers about "why" the baby didn't live. I asked the dr. during our 2nd ultrasound/2nd opinion about having testing done on the baby, after it was confirmed that the baby was not living and a D&C was necessary. She kind of discouraged us and said there was "really only one genetic disorder that could be determined from the blood testing." That seemed strange to me, b/c genetics determine so much about a human...it contains the majority of our makeup. I didn't understand her explanation, but I'm no medical professional.
A 3rd doctor from my practice performed the D&C. Dr. Sodor was much more compassionate than the other drs. and actually considered my request for testing, without shooting me down. She started to hem-haw around about it. "We won't get able to get the results back for about 4 weeks, near the time of your post-op appointment."
"We want it done," I said, as gently as possible. Funny what happens when you get a little adamant! (Not generally in my nature, unless Brent is involved. :-)
4 weeks later, I had my post-op appt. I actually forgot to ask about the results. The next day, we were checking in at the airport and received a call. The test results came in that day and they had some findings. Kind of nerve wracking, so I asked if she could call back after we were finished checking in. I was a bit anxious to hear the details.
When Dr. Sodor called back, she was so kind and explained that the baby had a chromosomal disorder called Turner Syndrome. (Read here for more about Turner Syndrome.) It's a disorder that affects only females, yet most miscarry at some point during gestation. Our baby was a girl!!! Several people had suggested that we name the baby, but we just couldn't without knowing the sex of the baby. We still have not chosen to name the baby, but feel like these results offered a little more healing.
According to statistics, our baby was spared a rough life, had she survived a live birth. God's plan is so amazing and we continue to praise Him for being in control.
Monday, April 28
More closure
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5 comments:
My daughter is 18yo and has TS. (prenatal diagnosis)
She is an aspiring pro-snowboarder and is ranked 35th internationally at half-pipe and slopestyle.
She's the light of my life and an exceptionally good person. She is especially good with small children and infants. (dogs too)
From my perspective, your god denied you a fabulous daughter. Guess I lucked out because my husband and I are atheists and out of your gods consideration.
Go ahead and google her:
Kyla Sobieralski
Go to the website of the Turner Syndrome society to see more pics of wonderful women with TS, most of them are probably very glad your god didn't decide to spare them from a rough life.
I'm glad you got closure, but your post is pretty insulting to those of us whose daughter were born alive.
"According to statistics, our baby was spared a rough life, had she survived a live birth. God's plan is so amazing and we continue to praise Him for being in control."
You stated that your daughter was spared a "rough" life. My best friend in the world has turner syndrome and she is an amazing and talented girl, beautifut on the inside and out. She is an inspiring pro snowboarder and has excelled at anything she's tried. I am so greatful that "god" didn't take over and decide to spare her a "rough" life. In reality with out her i know hundreds of people who's lives would've been "rough" without her. I'm truely sorry about you baby girl but please realize that your words are hurtful to assume that all girl with turner syndrome are better off without a chance to live.
Wow, I am really glad you got some closure. I am also sorry that other's have decided to throw salt in your wound with some very hurtful comments when you are trying to process through your loss.
The fact is God IS always in control and has a plan and his plan was to take your daughter to heaven. It is wonderful that that wasn't his plan for others, but that was his plan for you. Thank God he is in contol.
I am thankful God has provided some healing for you and your family and even more thankful for how you have been so open about this difficult time in your life. Your faith in God's plan for your family has been a blessing. I am saddened to see how hurtful and bitter others can be and am sorry you got caught in it. Thank you for your testimony!
Pauzhaan & Brianna,
Thank you so much for reading and for commenting about Kyla.
My words were misunderstood about the challenges of living with TS and the value of life with TS. For that I am sorry. "Spared" may not have been the best choice of words. I was not, in any way, saying that a life born with TS has any less value than a life born without TS. I would have loved my baby girl immensely (I actually still have a special love for her)had she faced the same circumstances that Kyla has faced.
What small amount of research I've done in the last 4 weeks would lead me to believe that living a life with TS is not easy. And for that, I applaud Kyla for rising above it!! She sounds inspiring and I've said several times that I'd love to meet someone like her who is rising above and facing the circumstances head on.
I'm not looking for a life without challenges. It definitely builds character & who doesn't need a little of than now and then! :-) Who knows if TS is truly the reason "why" God chose to take our baby. You can't refute that there is a reason that most babies conceived with TS don't survive full gestation. There are obviously great complications in those little bodies beyond what we'll ever imagine. We'd like to think that's our answer, but even if it wasn't, I'd still be resting in the promises of a God who knows so much more than any of us.
Please know that I could equally be hurt by your words about our God who has great consideration for all of us. However I'm not blogging to get a nod from everyone...just to keep my eyes open for all the ways that God is speaking & moving in my family's lives.
Ever learning, ever growing,
Krysty
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